ok... here is the deal...

Sun, 22 Mar 2009 10:21:17 GMT

how come anything i do to try to get with a girl always blows up in my face?

what the fuck. im tired of this nonsense.

fall 08

Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:09:18 GMT

this has been a shitty semester. the hardest by far. and since its finals week im so glad that im done with it. the only thing that sucks is that its 6am on monday and i have my first final in 5 hours. Geography 115, Violent Weather, has been an alright class. nothing too hard.

the one class i absolutly despise is poly sci 120, international politics. the teacher made the test rediculously hard and worth way too many points. after the first 2 test i had a 60% exactly. i hope i did well on my paper and on my final tuesday so that i can get my grade to a c

ssci, california studies, was boring but easy.

bio 10, never should have had to take it again.

music 187 is my last final. i loved this class, but i could never get up to go to it.

work sucks. i almost got fired saturday night. my boss didnt like the fact that i called into work one night 2 weeks ago so i could finish a term paper. aparently target is more important that my education. fuck those assholes. im gonna look for a new job soon.

i basically dont have a gf anymore. i call her, she doesnt answer or call me back. whatever. time to move on to bigger and better things. i need myself a real girlfriend.

i just want to get a 2.0, pass my finals and go home friday and go back to what i love more than anything in the winter time. i have the time of my life when i go back and help coach mission soccer for the few weeks that i can. i want to see those guys succeed and this year they have a good shot to win MVAL and go to NCS. its good times.

my sister is coming to california for xmas for her yearly visit home. i went and saw her in july in Dallas which was sick and i talk to her at least 3 or 4 times a week. plus, were goin to the emerald bowl. im stoked. i havent been to a cal football game for 2 years since i went to the game at U$C.

i hope break kicks ass. i want to see all my friends from high school.

its been a while, but this is something that has been bugging me lately

Tue, 28 Oct 2008 09:27:32 GMT

i know that for everyone my age its our first presidential election we get to vote in and is a historic one too. as election day draws closer, people are getting excited to vote and have their voice heard. but there is one thing that i cant stand more than anything right now.....

support your candidate. but dont publicize it so much and try to pursuade people to vote the way you are because you are so into it. i can think of a couple good friends of mine who are crazy on the obama bandwagon. they seem like the people whose lives would be complete if they were ever to meet him. one isnt that bad about it, and quietly supports obama whether its by wearing a shirt or helping out with the campaign. thats what normal people would do. they took it a step further, by changing their last name on their facebook to obama. thats a little too much. i love this person to death and have had a friendship with them since kindergarten, but personally i think they went too far. they even have a whole wall in their room dedicated to obama with newspaper clippings and such an even a framed voter registration recipt thing.

support your candidate, dont obsess over them.

another friend had recently changed their middle name to hussein on their facebook to go along with some weird fucking trend that is going on. i find it fucking weird and stupid. their latest facebook status update even said "....is so psyched for nov. 4!!!!" after which i told them to calm down. thats taking it too far.

support your candidate, dont obsess over them.

this might sound like im bashing obama in the days coming up to the election. but im not. i have cast my absentee ballot for barack obama to become the president of the united states. i didnt make a big deal about it. i went along my usual business and any normal human being should too.

its our first big election to be a part of, but lets not make a big deal about it. just be sure to vote, if you dont, then you cant complain about anything going on in the country for the next 4 years.

support your candidate. dont obsess over them.

big issues and how i voted:
pres; obama
1a: yes
4: no
8: no

nothing says good times like an ice cold budweiser

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 07:17:48 GMT

it have finally come to happen.

after years and years of trying, i am finally able to take my dad to see a mental health professional to deal with his mental illnesses.

for those who dont know, my dad is crazy. seriously.

my brother had informed me today that my dad has an apointment friday at 1 at the Livermore VA hospital. that means i need to pick up my dad at 12:15 so that we can get there on time. heaven forbid im late, but i need to go there.

my brother had sent me an e-mail of issues that we want expressed at this meeting. some of these issues i have heard about before, some are new to me.

i hope that we can finally make some progress in getting my dad some help and have him return to some sort of normalcy. if this meeting goes no where, then i just dont know what to do.

ne ways, back to fun things

im broke as fuck. target needs to send me my fucking paycheck. i start work at a summer camp in walnut creek in about a week an a half. got a lot of a's games soon. maybe saturday with my cousins, wedensday for sure with dj and my cousin katie. plus much much more.

laundry sucks

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 04:06:03 GMT

i always check to see whats up in other peoples lives, but rarely do i post about mine.

things are well out here in fresno. school is going well. this is one of the best semesters i feel that i have had. compared to last spring, this is a complete 180. the only class i feel that im not doing to well in is enology cuz that shit is hard as hell. i have a low grade in philosophy, but thats because i cant write for shit. other than that, its been a great semester.

work sucks. i need to talk to our HR rep tomorrow at some point because i want to take a leave of absence for the summer. i cant afford to live out here. they dont pay me enough. it sucks. but i want to go home anyways. but, if they dont give me a leave of absence until august 15th or so, im going to put in my 2 weeks notice tomorrow. i dont care. i need to go home. i want to be able to come back and work in the fall, but if they are going to be assholes about it, then fuck them.

i love athletic training. plain and simple. i get no more joy in life than helping athletes. working at fresno pacific has made me 100% sure that i want to be an athletic trainer. the things that i get to do there i didnt get to do at fresno state. they actually let me work with their athletes instead of being a water boy. i have learned so much from being there. ultrasound, stretching, taping, rehab. i definitly have had a better experience at fresno pacific than i did at fresno state. dont get me wrong, i cant wait to work in the program. but the fact that the trainers at fresno pacific teach me things and let me know what they are doing and why they are doing it just makes me like pacific better than state. its a learning experience for us. fresno state, at least at duncan, doesnt understand that. pacific will make sure we know what is going on, and not just go on like business as usual.

im coming home the 15th? or so. either way, its that thursday. my last final is at 1 on wednesday or something like that. im gonna get my shit pack wednesday night and check out of my apartment on thursday afternoon. then friday its off to tahoe!!!!

fucking sharks.....

seein annes update on facebook reminded me

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 07:40:50 GMT

so last night i had this weird dream.

it was like i was basically back home at msj for lunch time and i see my friend smalls workin in the student store. then, all of a sudden, i feel a tap on my shoulder and i turn to my right, and i see sophia ngo. and then like after i glance away really quickly, sophia is gone and bridgette is there.

i dont know what this means. what could it possibly mean?

i dont think that i have posted anything about sophia. i mean, we werent too close of friends growing up, but somehow we were always around each other. school, church, soccer, we did the same things and went to the same places. and to think that someone you have known since kindergarten with so much ahead of herself in life is gone, is still shocking. even tho you were gunned down senselessly, it made me think twice about everytime i go out. i make sure for sure to give my mom a hug and a kiss and tell her i love her everytime i go out, just incase, god forbid, i never come home again. when i first heard the news of your passing, i was in disbelief. there was just no way that this could happen to one of my friends. then, i kept hearing it from other people, and i knew something wasnt right. i told my mom what happened, and she started crying. i wish i could have been there with her when i had to tell her and when i found out. then, going to your funeral services, it was awesome to see how many people were there. you were loved, there was no doubt. it was so hard to say goodbye. walking up to your body, laying there so stiff and lifeless, the tears started building up. im not one to ususally show my emotions, but i couldnt control them. sammy is one of those guys too, but he went up to your parents and couldnt stop crying. i made my way up and said goodbye, the whole time thinking it was way too soon for that. the first person i saw after saying goodbye was your father. hes a strong man. i would love to have a father like him. i gave him a hug and the tears started flowing, they werent gonna stop anytime soon. ill never forget what your dad said to me that day. in the calmest and most comforting of voices, he said "shes in a better place now". its true. youre gone from us here, but you are having eternal happiness, too soon than we would have imagined. hopefully someday down the line, we can meet up in heaven and shoot around.

Happy Birthday Sophia. We hope you're doing well in heaven. You're always on our minds and in our prayers.

why are the diamond dogs 5-7?

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 07:16:46 GMT

spring break starts friday. cant wait. got time off of work so that i could go home. 10 days to just relax and hang out with the guys.

im in my last week at the duncan athletic office for my athletic training observations. im definatly gonna miss it. i have had a blast working with the football team for the past two months. i hear that Fresno Pacific University has a good training staff, but i wish that i could stay at duncan for all four years and work specifically with the football team.

so when im home for break, i might be going and gettin a tattoo of my grandfather on my arm. its something that i have wanted to do for a while now and i have finally got myself in the mindset to go and do it. even tho i never really knew my grandpa, i want to be able to have him with me all the time. i know hes watchin over me and keeping me safe.

i have been kinda off and on talking to this girl for about a month or so now, but it seems to be at a stalemate. nothing really going forward. its like we talk all the time and stuff, but its going no where. i dont know how to put this any other way, but shes everything i could ask for in a girl. athletic, cute, nice ass, wants to work for ESPN, likes spending time at the ballpark. i mean, in a word, perfect for me. i need to start doing more, but i just dont know what to do. it sucks

st pattys day is next monday. irish car bombs with the guys. couldnt ask for a better st pattys day.

Fresno State Sports Medicine

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 19:36:51 GMT

even though im only a level 1 in the program, i love being an athletic trainer. sure right now im doing a lot of bitch work like ice bags and water, but still im having a blast. the past few times i have been goin to football work outs and being a water boy. yesterday, i was assigned to the o-line and d-line workouts. thats some crazy shit. its not that the guys are being worked too hard, but they eat right before work outs and at least 3 guys were pukeing on the side of the field. nasty shit, but i think its cool. there are time where i wish i could do more like some stretching or ultrasound, but this is my observation time to see if this is really what i want to do with my life.

the training room is pretty sweet. its got like 10 exam tables, nice big tape deck, doc's office, and an amazing hydrotherapy room with 2 whirlpools, a multi level rehab pool and a hot tub. the guy that im working with, javier, he was trainer in 2006 with the new york jets. hes got some cool stories from when he was working with the jets and at Temple University in Philly.

today i go in at 3. more than likely, football has practice at 3:30 so ill be goin out there once more and doin water. all this is gonna pay off when the fall 09 semster rolls around and i will be a level 2 in the program with more expeience and a chance to do more.

i gotta get ready for class now. fucking geography. my teacher is a fob. hes hilarious though.

xmas wrap up

Wed, 26 Dec 2007 08:12:03 GMT

my mom went all out this year.

highlights of the gifts
guitar hero 3
tv stand
hella new jeans
bad ass sports book
pirates 3

and the low lights....

my dad

for those who know me very well, i dont talk about my dad too much. its a really sensetive subject for me. but this is a time and a place for me where i just need to vent about this shit and hopefully make myself feel better.

my dad is mentally ill

very, mentally ill

its soo bad that he doesnt even recognize or realize he has a problem. i go to his apartment today to give him is gift and we walk into a dark, hot apartment. the temperature is cranked up and he seriously has 2 lights on with the blinds closed. what is even weirder is that he is wearing sunglasses inside his dark apartment.

my dad has this "disease" in his eyes. everyone in my family things its psycho-somatic. but my dad has this "disease" where his eye just hurts all the time. now, his doctors havent found any evidence of "disease" in his eye. but the reason for him wearing sunglasses inside was to prevent from going blind. im dead serious. if my dad doesnt have some sort of protection for his eyes from the light, then he says that because of the pain, he will go blind.

but gettin back to my story. we walk in where he has his bed in the family room. weird, yes, but im used to it. we get in there, chat for a while, he shows mike and kandice and me his new things. then my borther see that there is a letter from the IRS for my dad. basically what it says is that my dad owes the IRS $92,000. this is scary for me. its bad because my dad thinks the IRS is wrong, and should pay him $50,000. and second, hes so in his own reality so bad, that because he doesnt thing he did anything wrong, that the IRS has no reason to take him away. usually if the IRS comes calling, you owe them money and its not good. this scares the shit out of my and my brother. i would hate to see my dad in prison.

shit with him right now isnt the best and i want it to get better. but he needs to make the effort. he refuses to do so. i want to have a normal dad, thats all i want. i would trade all the shit i got for xmas this year to have a normal father.....

thats all i want now.

Thu, 13 Dec 2007 20:25:12 GMT

wow

clemens
pettite
bonds
tejada
gagne

all used steriods

no wonder why clemens and bonds wanted to play so long into their 40s

clemens and bonds wont be hall of famers

thanksgiving break

Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:20:36 GMT

so by this time right now, i should be packing up my car for break and heading home if not be already on the road. instead, im stuck in fresno because of work. the only day im gonna be home is thursday for thanksgiving.

this sucks.

its gonna be a lonely break.

i hope winter break will be better.

thursday nights

Fri, 16 Nov 2007 07:43:34 GMT

9 cop cars just rolled into my complex to break up a fight.

gotta love fresno...

Tue, 06 Nov 2007 23:51:19 GMT

after a 3 week absense, my laptop is back. my charger was busted and today i finally had some money to go get a charger from the apple store. $85 later, im back.

things are goin alright. i got a job now. target. its alright. nothing too spectacular. except its taking over my life. i got 2 calls friday to come in. one for friday night when i was already working and one for saturday to come in an cover someones shift when i was already scheduled to work. its kinda annoying.

but there is some unfortunate news that comes along with this job. since its a seasonal job, i have to work all the time, and that means i will be spending pretty much all of my thanksgiving and xmas break. that means i wont be able to go and help out with mission soccer. i had a blast going and playing soccer and seeing old friends last winter and now i wont have the chance to do it.

i miss home. i want to go home so bad for a weekend, but wait, fucking target has taken over my life.

come visit me

Sun, 04 Nov 2007 21:53:07 GMT

fresno isnt that bad of a place.

im gettin used to it, finally.

Sat, 13 Oct 2007 08:01:39 GMT

it sucks taking the girl you used to have a crush on to a guys house to stay the night....

especially if that guy is your old roommate...

theta chi!

bowling class

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 20:07:08 GMT

i have just bowled the best game of my life

i bowled a 196 with 5 strikes in a row and 1 pin away from closing out the game with 6 in a row.

damn im good

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 17:40:18 GMT

i never realized how many asians go to fresno state

until i went to the student union....

Thu, 30 Aug 2007 17:40:17 GMT

its raining in fresno..........

another day of 100+ degree heat

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 21:27:04 GMT

it is so hot in fresno. its bad because i walk around campus for 20 minutes and there are sweat lines exactly where my backpack was. straps and all.....

fuck this heat!

fuck the heat

Wed, 29 Aug 2007 03:09:08 GMT

i have yet to aclimatize to the heat here. i ws literally at one class today. i spent most of my time on campus walking around from class to class which i ended up not having. so i hate the feeling of coming home and feeling drained beyond belief. it would have been worse if i had my fitness development class.

i hate this fucking feeling.

so my money might run out soon. after buying books and shoes and food yesterday, i spent aboit $350. i just found out my 3 anatomy books are going to cost me over $200. what really sucks is that the textbook has no more used editions in stock. so that means my main book is gonna cost like $175. ill end up keeping it for a long time, but still $175 is gonna kill me.

fuck.

i need a job.....

or i just need to win the lotto....

sophomore year

Tue, 28 Aug 2007 00:46:10 GMT

here is a breif summary aboot my first day of sophomore year

drama 62. teacher is fucking hilarious. its gonna be a good year. pretty much all the freshmen on the football team are in that class

plsi 2. teacher seems anal retentive. probably not gonna be easy

kines 33. could be good or could be bad. well see

hs 48. teacher is kind of a milf. should be cool

i just spent $166.43 at the bookstore for those classes. i think i only have one more book to buy so i made it off pretty well.

im down to walk to all my classes this year. but its hot as fuck.

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 00:29:06 GMT

in fresno......

its good to be back

Mon, 09 Jul 2007 04:04:03 GMT

im tired of living at home

fuck living at home.

after 8 months of independence, it sucks living at home for 3 months.

fuck livermore.

im staying in fresno next summer.

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 06:46:29 GMT

so summer is goin well for now.

macaroni grill is alright. it has its highs and lows. the ppl there are really chill. it sucks working at a place that i like to eat at because im being tempted with the scent of the food for my whole shift. there are a lot of things that piss me off there. working at lunch there are a lot of open tables but not that many servers to cover all the tables. we usually have like 9 or 10 at least working lunch. what sucks is that i seat ppl where i have to seat ppl, u know where there is gonna be a server for that station. but i have the dumb fuck ppl who always complain about the seat and always want to sit where ppl arent working. there is a reason why i seat ppl. its not just because i want to seat them there, its because thats wherer there is service. i seriously had someone move 3 times before they found a table they like. naturally, there is no one working where they are sitting. then i wont tell servers to pick they up so they wait like 10 minutes to hear from a server.

thats my work venting

i like living out in livermore. its really nice. a lot more calm than fremont. but it sucks that i have to go and drive all the time to see ppl. i just wish that some ppl would come out and visit me. i have gone thru like $300 on gas this summer already. it sucks. and when i want to go and drink with my friends, i have to go to san jose. thats almost an hour from livermore. so come out and fucking visit me in livermore.

as most of your know, i havnt had the best of relations with my dad. hes got a lot of mental issues and its been really hard to be able to talk to him and see him. well, i want to get my dad to stop being so "crazy" and be normal-ish (well as normal as he can be). i always wanted to have a dad who would take me to a ball game, go to my ball games and just be there for me. i was deprived of that during my childhood. so, to try to get my dad back to some normalcy, im gonna take him to the a's game for father's day. i think the last game that he went to was back when i was 5 or so. i want my dad to be able to do things without having to worry about his "schedule". so i told him that were not leaving early, there is no rush to get back and he agreed. so i gotta make sure he keeps his word. i know its too late to have the childhood experiences with my dad, but i want to have a better relation with him as an adult.

graduation is friday. gonna get hella drunk and go. should be fun.

hasta la bye bye

home for the summer

Mon, 21 May 2007 03:46:18 GMT

my first year of college is officially over. the spring semester ended thursday night after i took my history final.

this was by far my worst semester ever. i might have possibly failed two classes. but it turns out that my other classes i did well in. i got an an in history and in golf, got a b in english after at 9 out of 10 on my semester portfolio, and i pulled out a c in my math class. i probably failed bio and maybe got a d in science and nonsense. if so, then i will have 2 a's 1 b 1 c 1 d and 1 f. good times.

im bored off my ass right now. i just want to go out and do something. buuuut, people have school tomorrow and then others have finals starting tomorrow. on wednesday im goin with kyle to sonoma to help move chelsea out of her place. it gives me something to do.

i need a job. i have had two interviews at black angus last week during dead days. i need to go and follow up on some jobs, those being at total sports and maybe apply at home depot again. ill probably end up applying at a bunch of restaurants over at hacienda crossing. i realllllly need to get a job. if i dont have money, im not gonna do shit this summer.

but for now, im just gonna chill at home and relax. there is nothing better than that.